Testimony to Myself

Greetings future me,

I am writing this in case you may have need of it at any time of your life..
Even if you are disappointed with yourself or feel that life has no meaning...
Remember!
You are important in the world!
You are a fire brand for God!
You are to share the word with the world...

Even if you are failing at anything you are doing..
Remember that God has a plan for you!
He will not let go of you wherever you go...
God will be beside you every step of the way in your life..
That is certain!

Read your bible!
See what God wants to say to you...
And listen!
When you are lost, you can always go to God...
He will be there for you!

This is about 2 days after FIREcamp..
Remember that you are to keep that fire burning?
Izit still burning?
If not, pray about it!
Ask God to help you~
He will surely be listening!

I hope this helps you, future me...
Until the next time I have a post like this then...

"In the next 100 days, win one for the Lord... Did you manage to do it?"

Suicide sounds painless..

Well...
Exams are coming soon...
But I've sorta given up on my life...
I mean..
I have nothing to live for anymore...
Anything and everything that I try to do I fail at...
Have any of you tried to pick up a wet bar of soap on a wet floor?
Well this is something like that but that I've spent the whole week trying to pick up one lousy bar of soap...
I'm so useless...

The meaning of life...
What is it?
I don't even want to try doing anything now coz I fear I'll just stupidly fail at it...
My life is just like that...
Empty.

I hate my life..
Why am I even allowed on this Earth when all I do is nothing...
I feel so ridiculously useless....
I see no reason for me to be studying now...
Since whatever I do will surely not be enough...
Death sounds so nice right now...

I wonder if my classmates will remember me...
They'll probably think about me for like a week or two..
Then they'll continue with their lives...
That's what my life means at the moment...
Nothing.

I'm pretty sure people hate me...
Or rather have nothing to do with me...
Coz they know they'd just be wasting their time...
I seriously think I have no possible future in the world...
What the heck could I possibly do to contribute to the world...
Nothing.
Nothing at all...

My life is a wreck...
Nothing is right...
I don't think anybody can help me..
I'll probably just sink deeper and deeper into this abyss of doom...
I don't know if I'll ever get out of it...
I don't see how...
Life.
What is it to be used for??

I hope a car hits me soon....

*Squeak*

So yeah...
*Squeak*
I have not blogged in a LONG time... Haha...
But I'm bored at the moment so here goes nothing.. :P

Life is now a weird unshaped mess...
My homework pile is constantly growing...
I'm getting lazy...
I NEED TO BE MORE HARDWORKING!!!!
People in my life are changing...

So yeah...

Couples are slowly forming in my class...
Names shall not be mentioned. So yeah... :P
My results SUCKED.
I'm almost last of the 2ND CLASS....
Crap...
So I deleted Garena and Warcraft.. FTW
Waddya gotta do...
I'm not gonna be installing them if I don't break 30 this time round...

Form 4 has been interesting..
Homework is excruciating... No help from the 2 math subjects there...
I have also been extremely busy...
Karate, OMK, Debate, Spell-It-Right, Oxbridge Genius Maths Exam, UNSW English....
So yeah... busy.. xD
I'm also now the vice-president of the school's Chess Club and Interact Club..
Siao siao...

There's also a German guy in my class now...
He'll be in town for a year..
Name's Johannes Wehling, 16, Single. Yeah..
LOL..
People say I look like him, or rather he looks like me... :P
He sits beside me so I get to talk to him a lot...
Nice chap. =) Hope he'll get used to us soon... Haha...

There's gonna be a futsal competition in my school next week...
Quite nervous since I'm in the team...
I don't really play football well... As my Hilltop FC team mates can tell you...
But we have Johannes on the pitch!
He was the president of his football club back in Cologne. :P
Hope I'll perform well...
We're in the same group as 4C1, 5S3, and some B team...
Which equals GG..

Had choir competition on 24/7 :P
We actually messed up on stage!! D:
But we still got Silver..
So it was all good..
Ying Hui was all sad and emo and all...
But I guess she's all right now..

*I'm so tired right now..*
Played football with my classmates...
I'm not that good... T.T
Zi Ming kneed my right calf...
Can't walk properly at the moment.. Lol..

Ah well...
Until the next time I decide to momentarily revive my blog then...
Cheerio. :)

Wow... another one.

Yep, another one.
As shocking as it seems it IS another post on my previously dead blog...
Well, my dad's home at the moment so there's no chance of DotA... xP
Read a few blogs and decided ah heck, might as well start typing...
So here we go. Hobey Ho...
Yeah Shucks. I know.

Woke up at 5:04...
Siao siao...
Awesome since I don't have my handphone as an alarm clock..
Usual stuffs...
Reached school at 6:32...
Felt kinda good and decided to greet warmly the first few people that walked into class...
Stopped when 3 girls came in simultaneously... lulz.
Ah well...
Eugene brought his guitar so that was cool..
Played awhile..
Was suppose to be doing Modern maths but ah well...
Adoria brought the German girl up to class awhile later...
Well she seems awfully quiet...
The German girl I mean, not Adoria.
Adoria looked good. So that's that.
Saba Ghalib.
Probably.
That's the girl's name.
Probably.
School went on just fine actually..
First period was empty.
Always good to start a new day. :P
Then, choral speaking D:
I don't really like this...
Don't really have a chance of winning...
Came back and it was Sivik..
Joked around a lot...
:P
Then Chinese.
It wasn't so bad actually..
My Chinese teacher is good.
Maths.
I got a 91, which is good since I was thinking that I could possibly get a "B"..
Makan Time then.
Usual shtuffs.
Umm...
Ah yes, BM...
Yet another teacher absent!
Choir teacher came in for replacement...
:D
And Physics teacher!
He started giving out results...
He gave 'em out in ascending order...
Me, Chee Soon, Shan and TKL were sitting together shouting "Up, up, up!" with every name mentioned..
Then suddenly teacher called out Kun Lin's name.
So funny... xD "First Blood~"
Then mine, xD "Double Kill~"
I got a bloody 79!! Hurriedly streamed through to find something to get an "A"
And so, I did get it.
Inertia's definition. xP
So 80 it was. Which is not bad...
Considering I find it my weakest subject in the 3 Science subjects..
After that was English.
Teacher decided to give me 100.
So that's okay...
Well, after the papers were handed out nobody paid much attention to the poor teacher....
Ah well...
Another choral speaking practice....
Zzz...
It was better but got pulled late...
Was just in time for Choir practice...
Didn't really do much..
21 Guns nia.
Nice though, singing IYAZ's "Replay" to the song. xD
Got a ride from Jie Ying's mum back home....
Trees near her house so nice!:]
Flowers and shtuffs...
There are some of the same trees near my area too, but they aren't that bloomed yet.
Got back and granddad wasn't back.
Decided not to go on computer and played a bit of guitar...
Got tired and slept...
Woke up at 927.... O_O
Ate a bit of stuff and came online..
Ah well..
Shan's vids are awesome really.



Nice shtuff here.

Oh well...
Dad might be asleep...
But I'm not gonna push my luck..
Got school tomorrow...
Ah well...

これは何ですか？

What's this??
Could it be??
But its impossible!!!
But it is!!!!
Its...
An update on the surely dead blog of Michael Boon!!!!!

*News reporters stream over*

The public can barely believe their eyes!!!
This has not happened for nearly two months now!!!
For something this substantial to happen at this particular time of the month!!!
MADNESS!!!

Yes, my dear public...
Madness it is....
I kinda stopped blogging after I switched from Internet Explorer to Mozilla Firefox..
It just wasn't one of my bookmarks anymore... :P
So what brings me back you ask?
Answer: Gaki no Tsukai!
ShibataBread's account on Youtube recently got banned so I couldnt watch the vids for awhile...
Upon reading ShibataBread's blog, I find his new account: NotShibataBread.
So for anybody interested, please go watch his vids...

Well, after logging into Blogger for the first time in a few weeks, I see that some people are still blogging quite strongly...
Shuning's still splashing her crap around the internet and Tze Chien's also blogging away nicely..
And so I wonder if I have much to blog about now that I'm 16...
Well...
I actually do!
Just that I'm too lazy to go bother about it...
I have not touched my homework all holiday~ Whoo~
xD
Ah well..
Im gonna have to get started on it sooner or later...
Got Spiritual Parenting Training later...
Should be good..
So I don't know when I'll be getting down to that homework of mine....
Oh well...
That's something for the future me to worry about...
There's supposedly gonna be a German girl coming to my class for two weeks when school restarts...
Im not really clear on how this affects my life though...
Oh well..
Imma go with the flow~

Apologies to Shan if he ever reads this as I used japanese for my post title. =P

*Out*

The Stage

*This was meant to be a series*
*Apparently its not meant to be*

I open my eyes looking at the people below me....
The directors and producers, looking at me as I weave my magic...
The door at the far corner of the room opens and in struts another man fit for the stage....
He looks a real competitor for my spot....
Ignoring the brute, I finish my scene with a neat bow.
I slowly walked off the stage, the fella who just came in chatting cheerily with the producers....
I used to be able to talk to them like that...
Back then I was on great terms with the producers....
But I went after another film company...
But turns out, the company didn't want me...
That gave me a huge blow in confidence...
The producers still gladly welcomed me back...
And then this fella shows up....

At first he wasn't much of a threat coming from the shadows...
But then, I injured myself....
With me out for a few weeks, the producers decided to let the new kid try out....
I've been getting less and less stage time ever since....
My opponent has also been trying to get me off the stage....
And so I've come to the dilemma of thinking whether I should give up on this company and hope another shows up....

At first it was all crazy talk to me...
But then my eyes gradually opened wider....
The producers weren't really interested in me anymore...
If it was up to them I might as well have been a stage prop...
Well, that's what I felt like anyway...
Still confident that I had a part to play in their plans I decided to stay...
But that was all that happened....
Few days later, they change the main character from me to the new guy....
That pretty much said it all.....
I have nowhere to go....
And so, I'll just stay here.
Hoping for another chance.
A stage prop in the background...

3/1/10

I woke up today, sunlight in my eye,
I thanked the Lord that my bedsheet was still dry,
The plan of the day was clear in my mind,
Keep you hair on until you have dined...

Sarah messaged me greetings of the morn,
I replied her nicely, trying not to yawn,
I slept at 4 last night, watching the telly,
I know it's not healthy but hey, that's just me.

Liverpool were held by Reading FC,
1-1 was the score, they played until 3..
I went off to bathe seeing it was time
For me to freshen up it was 1029...

I took nothing for breakfast I had not the time,
Keeping my hair on was clear on my mind,
I went round the market place trying to see,
Whether the barber shops would open for me.

I had an important event for today,
My cell leader, Rachel, was going away,
We had a farewell planned for her at 6,
I wasn't keeping my hair on just for kicks....

In search of barbers, my quest ended quite near,
The usual Indian shop I went to last year,
I asked the boss if the shop closed around 9,
He nodded his head, my request was just fine.

Met with Samuel Khaw on the way out,
Seeing his bald head I gave him a shout,
I hadn't seen the fella in quite some time,
(This sentence is useless, I'm making it rhyme)

Got bored and started playing electric guitar,
With the guitar tuned, good music wasn't far,
As I had enough the piano caught my eye,
I had not played it in awhile, I went off to try.

Grinning with joy, I played more than one song,
One half-way, the other 3 minutes long,
Satisfied that I could still play that well,
I went on the computer, it wasnt Dell.

Shan told me to write all of these things down,
I usually respond with a long sad frown,
But today I really had nothing to lose,
Except my hair, which would've now been old news...

I guess I sign off here nothing left to say,
Except that I wished that Rachel Yeoh could stay...